Reviving A Memory (Day 3: 7 Topics, 7 Days)

Day 3 of the 7 Day 7 Topics Blog Challenge is all about reviving a memory or photograph. So i chose a bit of both.

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Meet my family from left to right we have my younger brother Alex, my Mom Lori, me, my younger sister Jenny, my Dad Steve and my younger brother Tyler.

This post might be a little too raw for me and I do apologize.

This is the last ever picture i have of all 6 of us smiling and all together. I was only about 15 here so that’s 11 years ago. We were on a family cruise that went to Key West and Mexico (I’m from Florida so wasn’t a very very long trip to the Keys.) To be honest this picture showed this was our happy time. We actually all loved being together, we were close at this point. I remember me and my sister going to the teen clubs and groups and then all getting back together for swimming, our excursions in both Key West, and our favorite , Mexico.

I can still remember me and my three siblings laughing at my Dad trying to haggle with the local mexicans and their goods, or asking in what he thought was Spanish where certain places were. O and dont get me started on how he thought he could teach us how to speak Spanish! Thanks Dad think me and Jenny learned better Spanish in High school thank you.

All of us and i mean all of us had so much to laugh and smile about. We were a family who loved each other and was on an amazing trip to some amazing places. My brothers loved boats so they were in there element (the boys were both 9 at the time) Alex, he wanted to learn about everything and how everything on the ship worked. Its amazing to think back to how he smiled, and how Tyler laughed.

My mom wanted us all to have fun. She made sure we knew what time to be back and made sure if me and Jenny separated that we had to be back to have dinner together every single night. The food was amazing.  we were treated like kings and queens! we got to wear fancy dresses and the boys wore nice shirts and trousers. I remember my parents constantly holding hands kissing. What an in love couple. This photo I believe was the last night.

Just look as us. We all look so happy and close.

Its crazy what happens in ten years and how completely different this is.

Now I should really stop as this is suppose to be reviving a memory but it just so happens in doing so, I’ve struck a cord in my heart.

My brother Alex, Weve texted once in awhile, but he moved to a different state from my parents. Hes in a big college and doing amazingly big things now towards his future. Hes so smart. At some point, unfortunately I couldn’t say when, he stopped smiling so much. I never knew why, although something gave me a hint when he finally changed from a private school to public, my parents kept him in there although he hated it, he lost my aunt, our half eldest sister he was close to moved far away, and our nanny who we call our aunt moved back to England. Its like he had so much emotion that he kept inside and didnt want to let it out until he was angry. He refused to talk to any of us or even say I love you. Eventually right before i permanently moved to England we got close, we did laugh we played jokes. As it got closer though he pulled away, the last in person memory i have of him , is him hiding the fact he was upset crying when I came in to say goodbye. I haven’t seen him in 4 1/2 years and I sometimes wonder if i ever will see him again which kills me to think about but I really hope is not the case.

My parents. I never saw the signs. I always thought they were so in love. I thought wow what a couple although they had problems, i guess you never think it would be your parents who split. My mom came over when i was living in England and explained how she was feeling, my dad was coming a week after her so when they were together I thought everything was fine again they just needed to get away and see me of coarse :p I was so wrong. My mom told me for about 5 years she was contemplating leaving my dad. And she was finally doing it. Worse time to as my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I think my brothers started to resent her for that as they didnt speak to her for a bit. They are apparently happy but my dads alcoholism shows more then ever where hes almost killed himself in car crashes. He says hes happy that shows other wise to me. Although my Mom looks and seems happy it still hurts to see them split up and with different people.

My sister Jenny. We stayed close. She was my rock. Shes an amazing mother to two kids and a fiance. She went though a lot of crap though before. Stuff that i wish i could of helped her with. Even now we talk every other week of that as reception is rubbish for viber, and i hear how she sounds and just wish i could help. She is so so strong for everyone especially her little family and my dad who really needs help. She and my brother Alex dont even speak. Its like a huge hate was built into alex for her and no one really understands fully why or how. We all had our guesses but no one was sure. Its been 3 years that they havent spoke.

My brother Tyler. He is such a talented smart sweet kid. I mean now a day its so rare to see a teen (mind you he is 21 this year) hug and kiss their parents and siblings. When i have seen him he gives great hugs, and when we have a chance to talk which is rare the busy guy, he always says he loves me and my kids. But he has gone through crap. Hes the last one at home with my Dad. Hes basically looking after him at times. He does work amazingly hard but he quit school which i never got the full answer why. He had goals. Be a basketball player which he so could of done hes amazing! But it was kind of like no one pushed him to go for it. I tried from where i was but theres so much you can do just over a phone. He got mixed into something i really dont agree with and so wish he didnt do but seems like no one really gives a rats. People obviously love and care for him, i mean who wouldn’t but with that stuff, they never guided him.

I look at this photo and I’m reminded of the happy times with my family and how much I miss them through and through even with some of the crap we have all gone through together. Just writing a little snippet of the truth on how things are now kills me and makes me well up. Makes me realize I still wish I could be there for each and every single one of them. I know through life people and times change. Just if you asked me at the time of this photo where I thought our lives would be, and if i thought there was any chance of  how far apart both physically and emotionally we are from each other, it wouldnt be like this.

What i would do just to go back in this moment in time, be a family with our arms wrapped around each other smiling and actually being a family and tell them all how much  love them and how much I want to be there for them.

Sorry that this was a way of reviving a memory for me.

-Candi X

 

Music Discovery -Day 2 of 7 Topics 7 Days

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I love music and that is no secret. I use to love trying to find new music before any of my friends so I could be like “hey listen to this amazing song I found!” Don’t know why, it was just the way I was. Years go on and I’m a busy mother studying and looking after a house and two boys under the age of 3, so the research of music turned to listen to whatever the heck was playing on the radio. So when I found out what the Day 2 topic was for this blog challenge I

1.) Was excited to look for more music

and

2.) I remembered exactly what and who I wanted to write about as I already clicked back to a band that’s isn’t world wide YET but is sure going to go places.

 

Walking through the town center in Bath England you always find different buskers on the street showing and sharing their talents and don’t get me wrong a lot of them are great! But the majority of the time i just don’t have long to stop and listen, or I just wanted to get to where I wanted especially on the busy beautiful days. However one day as I was pushing my eldest who wasn’t even a year yet, I heard this amazing music coming from around the corner.

My secret pleasure of music is folk music and i think that’s because my father kept playing it and singing it to me ever since i was very young. And i love the upbeat songs and artist. There was something so pleasing and drawing about the music being played I headed towards it.

Standing in the middle of the walk way surrounded by loads of people were these three guys on their own instruments. No amp or microphones. Just them and their instruments. Their voices all together and even separate were amazing and so distinctive I just wanted to hear more and more! I stayed and listened to all their songs (I believe at the point I came in there were only 3 more before they stopped.) Their music wasn’t like these other buskers. You could tell it was their own music, and they put their all into it. They danced around and interacted with the crowed with every song. It was like being at a gig! You could just tell this was a passion and they sure were having fun. And I cant say it enough, but what talent all 5 of them had! When they finished they spoke to everyone who went up to them which i find really nice to see, but me being the shy gal i am took my son and left.

Funny enough in this YouTube clip that someone else filmed, is the exact place I saw them, not sure if it was same day though.

The whole way around town i regretted not finding out more about them until i remembered their band name and looked them up on Facebook! Before you say o goodness Facebook stalker, they did have a sign saying their Facebook page :p I found a band that i really enjoyed!

From then on whenever I went into town I kept my ears and eyes peeled for them because not only was it great to hear their music, they were amazing and fun to watch. And luckily enough I was able to see and hear them at least 4 more times in person.

I remember thinking they have got to get discovered. They were a rare raw talent that shouldn’t go to waste! And I am so pleased to see that they haven’t.

They seemed to have worked their butts off and I see tour dates, music videos, and even Glastonbury! Although I got to enjoy their talents a few or more times in person, I cant wait till they come back to Bath again (Unfortunately I just missed a gig literally a few days ago!)  This is a band that I would watch and listen to any time and many many times.

If you like the upbeat folk-punk music, or not even that just an all around amazing talented band, Bare Knuckle Parade is one that shouldn’t be missed.

This is their New Single Diamond Eyes which I’ve had on repeat 🙂 SEE! A Music video! 😀 Have any of you had the pleasure of watching Bare Knuckle Parade? Enjoy!

 

-Candi X

 

 

 

 

Time With Nature (7 days, 7 topics)

I’ve always been an out doorsey type of gal. Id run abou in the street, swim in our lake behind our house, climb any tree in my path, and most of the time unless I was at school, playing a soccer game or in a public indoors place, you would most likely find me with no shoes on, literally feeling the earth between my toes and yes it hurt those dangnabbit rocks.

There’s something about it i could just soak in and feel at peace within myself. I could just sit and soak up my surroundings and it feel like a weight was lifting off my shoulders. Back home in Florida, my go to nature get away was the beach. I would skip school if i was having a bad personal day and just head to the beach. The sound of the waves crashing on to the pier or washing up on the shore, finding all the cool little nic nacks the waves would bring in with each spurt of climb, it made me calm deep within.

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However, moving here to England there’s a whole different type of nature i discovered. Hills, mountains, gorges, rivers, plains, fields of never ending grass or flowers. It is beautiful.

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I found a place here called Cheddar Gorge and i cant really explain why, but it reminds me of like a fairy tale town. It has something so majestic about its little streams and its hurge gorge with goats! A few times before i had my kids, i took the long trip with a picnic all by myself just so i can sit, on a high top of these hills in the gorge just to take the amazing sites it. It was so quiet. The birds chirping was my soundtrack for the day such a sweet melody.

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I could just think. Think about life, try and decode the stuff that was in my head at that time, and just appreciate all that was in front of me.

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If there is one thing I hope my boys will learn from me is to slow down and appreciate nature and all that’s before us. Go out and kick a ball, build forts outside, run through the woods and fields, realize that beauty is not just man made and that really, its every where you look.

Where is your favorite place to escape reality? Is it at the beach, or a certain park?

I also would love to invite all of you to come join in the 7 Day 7 Topics bloggers challenge. For more information please go visit http://amazingbeautifulindividual.com  link is at the bottom 🙂 and Let me know if your interested! have a lovely night everyone!

-Candi x