One of the biggest things in life I ever wanted was to be a mother. I have so much love in my heart and I knew I was nurturing and definitely wanted to be a mother after working with the kids in Mexico and seeing my nieces and nephews and being married that was the next step. I saw how much children bring such a light into your life, I wanted one of my own.
After years of trying and being told at one point chances are slim to none, me and Kai finally fell pregnant in 2013. Then had the biggest surprise of our life when we fell pregnant again and I took that test in 2015.
Before kids I thought playdates, parks, learning, hugs, kisses, sun shinning every day! Wanna know the truth? Its bloody hard work!
Wake up calls at 5 in the morning when you not long went to sleep from one baby fighting to the death to stay awake. Screaming, crying, hitting, spitting, you name it! They get up and its like they’ve had about 10 cups of coffee before you’ve had one! “Mommy let’s be dinosaurs!” “Can we go to the park!” “I want this!” “I want that!” “Lets scream the house down and run around like lunatics so we can wake everyone up including the poor neighbours who have to get up to go to work soon!” Note to self: stock up on redbulls for now on and keep them right by your bed cause mama, you are going to need them.
I literally feel like I’m ripping out my hair just trying to hold back from yelling one more time to “STOP THAT!” “YOUR BROTHERS NOT A HORSE GET OFF YOUR LITTLE BROTHERS BACK!” “DONT STICK THAT IN THE SOCKET YOU’RE GOING TO SHOCK YOURSELF!” DONT EAT THAT SNAIL YOU’LL GET SICK” (and they just look at you and smile and chew that whole damn slimy snail and spit it out and cry like you didn’t warn them its nasty!)
Watching them play is pretty incredible. I do love watching their imagination just take over. I love to see how far its come within just the 3 in a half and 1 and a half years of them being here! But sometimes the end of world happens. They can’t fit one Lego into the tiniest spot to finish off their masterpiece. Or the blocks fall over. Or best one yet, the big rock solid dinosaur wont float in the air by itself. That’s when I feel I need to make a bomb shelter out the back. Take cover from world war three that they begin to construct because these things aren’t going right. Theres no reasoning, no ok honey that’s fine lets find another way “NO MOMMY IT WILL WORK AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” And any way I try to fix it I apparently made it ten time worse by the sounds and destruction that comes from these two innocent looking cuties.
I always looked forward to dressing my kids in cute outfits! Thought yeah keep them in that it would be fine. They will be like these little poster children who you see in movies and magazines looking all fresh and cute as they bake a cake or play outside. HAHAHAHA boy was I wrong I swear before I even get out the door I’ve changed them twice because of the paint or their breakfast and while we’re walking to get to where we need to, I realise just when I thought it was safe to bring them out, they’ve got a big dirt stain on their face and t-shirt from where they decided to literally stop and smell the roses. Thank goodness for this hot weather, they can stay in a diaper and undies while were just in the house no harm done and no clothes ruined in the process.
My boys loooove their snacks. So much so they are asking every half hour for something and when we go out to friends, I swear people must think I don’t feed them because they want to eat them out of house and home too! But a nice thing about them is they love to share their food, and boy o boy my husband loves that. He thinks yes! I’ll have a bit more (so jealous how he can do that and still have a great bod but if I even have a small bite, I gain like 10 pounds) One thing I do hate though is when they soooo want to share that they are taking the food directly out of their mouth and trying to shove it in mine. (Cue passing me the sick bucket!) Never have I or will I ever eat ABC food but fair shout to those of you who do you got a strrrrooooong stomach! I have to quickly take it and throw it in a wet wipe just so they wont get upset because trust me they get reeeealllly upset if mommy doesn’t want that wet gunky chewed up food they so nicely got for me.
I want to tell you a little story about one day with my youngest. He was running around in his nappy having a wail of a time. Its been soooo hot lately and this day was so so hot had windows open, fan blowing and the ice was on tap. I was sat just watching the boys play when he just stopped looked me dead in the eyes gave this bit of a sinister grin, you know like the smile the Joker gives when he’s about to go crazy, yeah that one. And then all of a sudden quicker then you can say stop he rips off his diaper, still looking at me in the eyes with that smile and plops down and takes a quick steamy poo. I leaped and from that I felt like i was in a slow motion segment of a movie trying to jump and catch the diaper and poo and grab him all in one. Acting like I’m trying to stop an explosive going off in those action films you see. I fell, defeated and just looked in horror and shock at the pile of smelly brown poo on the floor and at my son who found it the funniest thing in the world. My son loves me so much.
When it comes to dinner time, instead of cooking one nice big meal for the 4 of us, I’m now having to cook three different meals because I’ve given up on the whole fine if you don’t eat your dinner you’re not going to have anything because frankly I dont want them to starve. I’ve given up on the whole “Hidding the vegetables” because those little Sherlock Holmes snoop it out every time! (Thank goodness for kids chewable multi vitamins or I’d think my kids are made of only burgers, chili, pasta, sandwiches and biscuits.) Hey, at least they’ve eaten something.
Bath time! Well there’s not really problems there with my kids they love it! So much so that they want to make the whole bathroom a swimming pool! Pouring the water out even when you’ve said in a good ol robot tone,” please don’t do that, you’re making the floor wet, just stop” and then just laugh and continue to even when you take the cup away to find some magical way to get it all over the place. Such fun!
At bed time, my sons are so particular. I swear now, If my husbands working late, I have to just try to get them to sleep downstairs with me as they both wont go to sleep at the same time. One wont stay upstairs in his room unless someone sits with him as he falls asleep! The other you have to tickle his hand as he drinks his bottle to go to sleep! I wish I was a very flexible stretchy 8 armed mom I bet it would make it easier to get them to sleep at the same time. I’ve tried the cry it out method, they don’t give in never have. Ive got two very very strong-willed boys and no matter what even if I beg even if I plead, they wont give in. They are going to be great activists one day I tell ya!
I always think right when they are finally asleep I’m going to have a nice hot shower or bath and just relax. Let me tell ya, by the time my youngest (cause it usually is my very stubborn youngest) falls asleep, I’m so knackered I just want to pass out on the couch watching Love Island! So I end up missing a day of washing my hair and that and I hate admitting that but I’m sorry Im writing to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. And come on I know there’s a lot of other moms who do the same and theres noooooo shame in that, we’re in this together Mommy’s!
I find myself getting so stressed and wishing that I could just have a cheeky glass of wine after that long day even though I don’t drink and havent drank in a long long looooooooong time. But as I look back on the days and the times with my kids I smile. I’m so lucky to have these two considerate, smart,funny, loving, playful, imaginations that will take them far boys. I hate myself after when I’ve lost my cool because when they smile, I cant help but smile back and feel a warmth like no other. I beat myself up at times when they are kicking off and think what have I done to make them like this? But then I remember all that good that really does out weigh the bad and think “Good job mommy you must be doing something right for them to be that loving and goofy.” Its ok to get stressed and angry, its natural its bloody hard work being a mother and for everyone being a mother you rock! Theres some pretty hard jobs out there but being a mother, you are a teacher, a cook, a nurse, a pilot, a story-teller, a nurturer, an architect and the list goes on! It’s not a 9 to 5 job, it’s a 24/7 job for the rest of your life. I can do it. You can do it. We got this. It’s those little hugs and kisses they give even when your angry that makes it all worth while. They are our world.
Even now, just writing this, my youngest gave me the biggest hug and you know what, hes smiled that Joker like smile, ripped his nappy off again and peed on me. All I can do is laugh.